Monday, April 11, 2011

Gideon didn’t have an encounter with God on a mountain top

Simply put, the mustard seed tends to break my heart. I was writing a letter to someone the other day about how I remember being in jr high/ high school and being afraid of homeless people, then having an incredible experience in east Hastings and no longer being able to look at un-sheltered friends without thinking "beloved"

When I was walking around the shelter tonight I stopped and saw this written in the bathroom, I noticed it yesterday but didn't read what it said and now i just feel sad. This is the only place they can find for quiet. I think about myself and people in my life and how we talk about "me" time and how refreshing it can be to just be alone for a while and then I think of being in some sort of devastating situation where I would need to live at a shelter and have 300 roommates from all walks of life, in all stages of being, some happy, some angry at the world, some using drugs, some dealthy sick, and I think about feeling trapped there and how my only quiet place might be a bathroom....

A while back at a event for hands at work my Friend heather said "Sometimes the experience runs so deep its hard to find the words but we must tell their stories"

This is how I feel about the seed, I'm hoping to find the words soon...

Monday, April 4, 2011


My Oma passed away when I was in India. Talking to my Mother before I made my way home we decided i would read something at the funeral. When I got home I found out that based on Catholic Law I had to read whatever the priest choice. SO because I didn't get a chance to read the letter I wrote I will post it here. Its written like it would be read out at the funeral (I am just mentioning that because there is a part near the end that might seem strange to read)

Dear Oma

I'm sorry that I wasn't here to say goodbye. I'm grateful though that my last memory of you was one that I walked away exclaiming how adorable you are and how much I love you.

1John 4:12 says

No one has ever seen God but if we love one another God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.

When I think about you all I can think of is how much I love you and how much I know you love me.
Thank you for always expressing your love, your joy and your pride in being my Oma.
There are many things I remember about you and cherish, like when you would volunteer in our elementary school (this action making you "Oma" to many of our friends) when you would take us swimming, Shu-pan and Stumpot, Stories that started with "well you know what my Mother always said" your willingness to pray for my friends in Africa and your endless support of the choices I make. one has ever seen God but when we love one another his love is made complete in us.

Thank you for loving us the way you did because through that I have been shown an aspect of God's love.

Something Sister recently said was "No regrets only beautiful memories" this is true of how I feel also.
Thank you for always being apart of my life.
Oma, I love you and as cliche as it may sound I wont forget you
Rest in peace

PS I wont talk to Strangers

I have another letter I need to read. This is a time for honoring my Oma but there are people who were apart of her life that I'm sure she would want me to address now. So..

Dear Mother and Dear Sister

As I have said No one has seen God but when we love each other his love is made complete in us.

I don't even know how to express the gratitude each of you deserve.
You were both such a blessing to Oma, even when it was hard and when you were unsure of what to do.
I want you to know that the way you loved her inspired me and is so true of the verse i have repeated.
Thank you for loving as you have.
I adore you both.