Serenity

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. "

I went to a narcotics anonymous meeting yesterday.
I think part of the love tour is learning empathy for what others go through and being able to start to understand what people go through on their road to recovery is essential to my job at the seed and to my life as a person who loves other people.

It was really intense though for a number of reasons and pretty much the whole time I sat there feeling like I was going to puke, and I like chewed my coffee cup to bits...but alas.

When I sat down a lady asked me if I go to this group often and I responded with "this is my first time" I didn't want to try and draw some sort of line in the sand and say "Ive never used drugs" because this is a safe place with no judgements and I didn't want her to think that I thought I was different or better then her, and she was so lovely! telling me "you are courageous for coming here! we love new people!"

I watched this amazing video this week on vulnerability and life and relationship and it was talking about how "whole hearted people" have 3 things in common, courage to accept who they are and to tell their stories regardless of the pain/success, compassion for themselves because they know you cant be kind to others without being kind to yourself first and believing they are worthy of connection with other people.

The essence of that is what I felt and the NA meeting and processing it now I really think that was a incredibly beautiful experience regardless of the anxiety I felt.

One of the things they value there is the anonymity of the program and I hope by sharing things here I'm not breaking that because I do so respect these people and have gratitude that I was able to see a part of their lives.

One man's sharing really struck me because he said something like "I had just accepted that I was going to be a homeless addict"
It made me wonder how many people I come into contact at the shelter who feel that way. and it also made me think how much more important it is to just pour out love to everyone everywhere I go.

I adore the self aware-ness of recovering addicts and how they fight vigorously to give everything over to God (as they understand Him)...something I strive for.

my therapist would love you guys

So sometimes I deciede that Im not going to tell people stuff and do things secretly but then it turns out Im not very good at secrets so I end up blogging about it.

Tonight I had a very intense experiance at the shelter and it really jarred me but it was so nice to off set that feeling with this lovely project.
I thought of this idea a few days ago and my co-worker Cristina helped me implament it!
We did it in the middle of the night (one of the advantages of night shift!) so the lady guests would find it in the morning. As I was buzzing around the shelter one of the women asked for a moment of my time, she is someone that I find especially intriging and she said to me "I just wanted to let you know what you did in the bathroom was amazing, I literally walked around it at least 4 times just looking at all the notes and my spirits went from here" she motioned to below her knee "to here" and her hand went above her head.

Mittens aka December

Because Brianne was in calgary in December we were able to take our twelve month project picture together!

Eyes Closed Aka November

Fall picture Aka October

from the little red journal

19 may 6:03pm

My dad is a assorted variety artist and I appreciate him very much. The sound of fingers sliding along a guitar neck to change notes always reminds me of him. I like his voice and not just the one you can hear.
I have some of his songs on my Ipod, some are silly, some are sad and I am extremely glad to have them
There is this one called "Harvey" that he wrote when he worked at the church. There is something special about a song written for a man who is unaware there is a song written for him.

HarveyMr. Harvey what happened to you? did you go on a bender? did you come apart at your seams?
I saw your garden growing, in fact I had some fruit-no salad and vegetables from it.
I heard you got beat up real bad that night at the bar, your out of your head you got out of your car.
You went on a rampage all the way to Nova Scotia and then the church paid your way back to know us
You showed up here in a tie you were mistaken, there was no job no job for you
And I use to wonder what kind of a mind it took to plant a garden, I cant do it, I don't have the Patience like you.
and you were running, running home running home running home
I hope you don't stay running running home running home running home running home
I met you and I like you
I got nothing against a guy who has some drinks
There are to many Pharisees handing round these parts want to make you change and it always makes me think, what if that was me down in the gutter?
would they even stop to pick me up? I don't think so they got their nose in the sky and I don't think they'd see you as they pass by
Mr. Harvey
where are you? Mr. Harvey where are you?
are you still running, running, running?
are you still running into the blue?

come with me go places

Its been so long since I wrote a real blog that I am almost stumped on how to start.

We will start with India! I bought a plan ticket to that land that I know nothing about and will be heading out on feb 17th and coming back home april 2nd. My beautiful friend Laura Pope is going to India on a practicum through her school, I will be going half way through her trip. I dont exactly know what Im doing yet, I fly into Kolkatta/Calcutta on a saturday and volunteer orientation at the mother teresa house starts on Monday, so I have about a day to get my self ready to go for my time at the mother teresa house.After that Im taking a train to Pune where Laura will be, suddenly I am terriable at understanding the internet so trying to find volunteer/missionaries has been a challeng but Laura has told me of some people who work with people who have Leporsy and of different street kid programs also programs having to do with HIV/Aids. All three of these things I am very interested in. So yeah, India really has a different vibe to me right now then Africa did and maybe thats because of my lack of knowledge and because this trip will be much shorter...who knows...but I am very excited.


My lovely friend Stanley is in Canada. Stanley is one of the main people I worked with while i was in Masoyi. Its lovely to connect with him again and to show him where we are from. This past weekend he introduced me to what he calls hi "top 7" apparently the team he works with make sure that they are aware of each others "top 7" so they know how to love each other. Top 7 means your 7 favorite things.
Stanley asked me my top 7 and I answered that they are. Jesus, family, friends, traveling, arts+crafts, journals, and hearts.

What are your top 7 favorite things?