cupcakes for breakfast toothpaste for dinner

but yeah like I said I'm interested in how this whole thing will turn out and tie together, I get this strange feeling when I'm downtown, when I see pavement covered in chewed gum, grocery carts overflowing with "finds", when i see policemen or people sitting down on the concrete.

This speaks to my heart, this makes me cry and makes me hope but...so did big eyes, heat, mud huts, and language barriers of Africa
Jesus where are you taking me?
I'm very intrigued

what time do we work?

"I know we're all dying but i actually am"

Some other guests bitch him out for being rude and upsetting me, I assured them he wasnt', it took me a few hours to realize that i have been made upset, but its not how he's speaking that done it, its what he's telling me.

Crack addict for over 25 years, 3 days clean and at least 3 heart surgeries.
A lifted shirt a exposed shoulder "look at this"
No sympathy
"you can read my shit to man"

this was his choice...does that mean this is what he deserves?
I hate that my only response is "what do i do?"
because you know we are all dying, but he actually is...

19 fab things that happened in my 19th year

1 I was given a treasure hunt birthday part.

2 I fell more in love with africa

3 I had my first kiss (insert vomit noise and teeny tiny grin)

4 i bunjee jumped the second higest bunjee jump in the world

5 I met kindred spirits like louise, my twin Danny, and a beautiful 4-some called, Dayla, Kathrine, Tara and Beth

6 I learned to Knit

7 a) I had a conversation around a circle table which inspired the term "Love Tour"
b) I got "Love Tour" tattoo'd on my arm

8 I came back to Canada, learing that Goodbyes are heart breaking, hello's are rather joyus and Love was coming at me from all over the place

9 I spent a poncho themed weekend in banff, where I lived out a song lyric

10 I did Gurilla Art projects (the mirros, the journals and a little wall writing)

11 I spent a night on the street

12 I went on a roadtrip to vancity and i was reminded of hope, talked to a boy from Denmark and learned something new about love

13 My baby sister graduated

14 Flew (tried to at least) kites in formals clothing with two lovlies

15 Had a night outside with 3 of my favorite guys reading peter pan to each other

16 My best friend got married, i glued feathers on my dress...no big deal

17 I made Prayer flags at camp

18 Went camping, left in a tiny red car fairly full from the two people in it, drove home with said tiny red car so full you couldnt see the two back passengers

19 I got what is my current dream job at the mustard seed

When all the love in the world is right here among us, and hatred to, we must chose what our hands will do...

oh please just run away with me

So I'm leaning against the wall near the men's bathroom, waiting for someone to wheel out the towel bin, only a few of the lights are on, i hear snoring, soft talking and a guitar. Aaron's playing the guitar, i can only see the back of him, his arms moving as he strums quietly. I have this feeling, this feeling i had so many times in Africa "you where meant for this"

I'm astounded with the way things have turned out.I have been giddy since i started at the seed, that almost doesn't describe it properly, i mean i was sitting outside the mustard seed cause i was early for my shift and every time i looked up i couldn't help but laugh, i am so excited about this!

My first shift basically flew by, doing all sorts of tasks, laundry and blanket distribution, guest storage, check in and bag searches.I cant stop smiling, but then it end on this weird note, that makes me cry all the way home, I am then stressed for the next two days and it comes down to taking a leap of faith...and i do it...and Jesus did me a solid.
After being told several times from seed management that i shouldnt quit my other job and that they cant give me full time hours, i went a head and quit my job with DDRC, not two hours after i quit with DDRC the seed comes to me with a contract position....
and Love tour calgary continues...

speaking words of wisdom let it be

My latest project:

So if i had to share some wisedom or whatever, i would have two things to share, and funnyily enough they both came from church

1) Reflect what you believe- if you really believe something your actions need to reflect that, you cant say one thing and do another.
That lesson really has nothing to do with this journal but i thought i would share it none the less.

2) Now i cant really remember the proper way this was worded but it was something like "make your life a story worth telling" and i know that almost sounds a little harsh because really life sometimes is just gonna happen but i like the idea of life being a story and being able to contribute to that story.

switching tracks.

I love journals, i never go anywhere withough mine and i love making them. So i made this journal for you yes you who is reading this now because if finding a random hand painted (ha) journal made specifically for me by someone i dont know cant be a part of my story i want it to be a part of yours. Much love!
-a friend"

rule of life number 38

I suppose I have alot to talk about, but before i start writing i should mention how i was thinking about this on the bus and how maybe blogs are a little silly...i sit here and write out all the things i think and feel and then you sit there and read them...i dont know why but suddently this feels strange to me, but at the same time, if i write this now i can compartmentalize my thoughts and i will have to answer less questions later.

I should also metnion that my head is spinning so hopefully this makes some sense.
I will start with the concrete

My job, so...I really like the work part of my job, for the most part its awesome, i get to do stuff like go swimming and play monster trucks, there are little things that happen at each shift that makes me smile, like the other day one of my clients told me he knew God and I asked him what he was like and he just smiled and after a long pause told me that his(God's) name was steven.
But the hours have changes so much, and everytime i try to quite or mention that im unhappy my boss just acts really nice or promises that they will do better the next week, Im a sucker and this keeps happening, i need to like fully detach myself even if they are very nice the hours are important for me to like continue.

My stuff with the simple way, so after farther communications it seems the simple way has decieded to not take interns this year, this makes me a little sad cause i was really stoked, but at the same time i feel peace, i know i will be lead to where i need to go.

This brings us to the question of "what now?" and my answer is i have no friggen clue...you know how christians usually use terms like "God will open a door" well i want God to open and door and shove me through it cause everything just seems so up in the air.
On the note, i would like to put it out there that if anyone knows of any cool oppurtinites i would be very much intrested in hearing about them...

I had much more that i wanted to write about but i think i will leave it at this for right now.
Please pray about my job stuff and my life stuff.
thanks friends
:)